Lazy Genius Mom

Working Hard So You Don't Have To

Pink balloons in a line with the title The Dying Art of the RSVP
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The Dying Art of the RSVP

How often do you throw parties or get invited to one? Do you respond to RSVPs? Do you ask for responses?

RSVPs Can Be So Frustrating

Get it together people!

That’s what I feel like yelling when I send out an invitation.

Granted that doesn’t happen often, I don’t entertain much, but when I do I like to know about how many people to expect. This way I’m not buying enough food for a handful and then have a neighborhood’s worth of people show up.

When it comes to food and drinks, too little is just as bad as too much.

This weekend I threw a small bonfire party and invited about 60 families. About 30 people gave a definite YES, around 25 said MAYBE, and the rest either didn’t respond or said NO.

I was grateful for the YES and NO answers, I can plan around that, but the MAYBE category is another story.  Most weren’t a maybe with a leaning one way or the other, it was maybe I’ll show up or maybe I won’t. What am I supposed to do with that?! What does anyone do with that? You can’t maybe buy supplies.

The Dying Art of The RSVP. three hands holding three pink balloons with the words yes, no and maybe.

If you RSVP maybe- Give a reason.

It doesn’t need to be a dissertation, just a heads up on which way you may end up. Any of these answers are perfectly good and give an idea if the host should reasonably expect you to show up or not.

Examples:

  1. Maybe- I have to work in the morning I don’t know if I’ll be off in time. I’ll let you know by …
  2. Maybe- My kids have a soccer game I’m going to try to make it but most likely we’ll still be busy.
  3. Maybe- My 8 year old has a cough and the flu has been going around school. It doesn’t look good.
  4. Maybe- I don’t know yet if I want to come.

If you RSVP yes- Actually show up

This one should go without saying.

If you must cancel, do so as soon as possible. It’s courteous and shows you have some respect for the host.

Things happen. People get sick, have emergencies, said yes to too many things, etc… Whatever the reason is, it is good enough simply because it is your reason. Just make the quick phone call or the send the text message out. It only takes a few seconds, yet it makes a good impression and sends the message that you are considerate.

If You Want to Bring a Guest- Ask!

For any party I have thrown, guests were a wonderful addition. I just want to know ahead of time so there is enough to go around. That being said, I have never thrown a dinner party or formal event.

For something that would require a head count or reservation ahead of time, a guest list that is accurate is a must. For example: a child’s birthday party, you typically need a count of the kids coming so the event location can know how much to charge. 

Guest requests are not always specified on invites, so bringing one may or may not be allowed. You’ll never know unless you ask.

Just remember, if the answer is no, then you shouldn’t show up with one anyway and hope it turns out OK.

If you RSVP NO- You don’t have to explain why, but if you do it would be appreciated

Sometimes you just don’t want to go and you know it ahead of time. Sometimes you have plans already. The reason doesn’t matter, but giving one is a nice gesture that goes a long way.

Have you ever sent an invite and gotten a No response? Did you wonder why? If so, you can empathize with that curiosity.

Do you think a RSVP is necessary? Do you ask for one on your invitations?